Friends are awesome

aainaa.bluinc: ok
too busy to chat?

4:15 PM me: no not really :)

4:16 PM aainaa.bluinc: whats up
whats new
you suck hahaha

me: i know i know
sowwee
but i have the perfect bday gift to make it up :P
ehehehehe

4:17 PM nothing's up nothing's new
well **ULP******T"S A DOUCHEBAG hahahaha

4:18 PM aainaa.bluinc: okay
what else happened

4:22 PM me: nothing
he's just a douche

aainaa.bluinc: i thought we've established that a long time ago :P

4:23 PM me: yes just reiterating
4:28 PM me: how's work

aainaa.bluinc: tiring
not enough sleep

4:29 PM rest
whatever you call it you?

me: okay la
doing trend updates...
bah! so hard

4:31 PM aainaa.bluinc: nak berak
but malas nak go toilet
har

4:33 PM me: wear pampers

4:39 PM aainaa.bluinc: hmmm
i doont have em for now
good idea
but then i'd just have to sit in my shit

4:41 PM me: oh yea
yucks
le poo

how do you sleep?

how does one, who has abandoned his or her family, sleep at night?

how?

Mr. Big

"There are so many beautiful women in this city, But the thing is this. After a while, you just want to be with the one who makes you laugh."

From Amaine to Pah-Pah

Last night I received a phone call from a very ecstatic friend who had just become an aunt. She called me asking for advice on how to be a cool aunt. I told her to just be herself as she is already cool. She then asked about cool aunt nicknames as she didn't want her newborn nephew to be calling her " Aunty Farah" or "Mak Ngah"….I told her how I have one niece who calls me Pah-Pah and my other munchkins call me Amaine. These were all names given to me by them. So, I told her..don't give him a nickname, he will give you yours.

 

To Yaya,Rania,Arin,Sophea and Marissa—thank you for my nicknames. Love, Amaine / Pah-Pah xoxo

Body to body

They say Singaporean and Korean men have really hot bodies due to their time spent in compulsory military training (or National Service).

I have yet to see the effects on Malaysian men (or boys).

Cepat!

ermmmm maybe it's the universe trying to tell me something

Lift from carpark to building lobby

lady: Do you work here?

me: Yes.

Lady: Where?

Me: (company name)

Lady: oh okay. what floor?

Me: 6th.

Lady: Oh, you can go in late?

me: We have flexi hours.

Lady: Oh, you have flexi hours.

me: yea but just for coming in. we have to come in between 9.00-9.30.

Lady: Oh, I see.

Exit lift. Enter 2nd lift from lobby to offices.

Lady: You pregnant eh?

me: erm. nope.

Lady: Not pregnant?

me: no.

Silence.

Lady: We tried to implement flexi hours in our office but susah la...

me: Oh...

TING! 6th floor!

me: Okay,bye....

the fat girl

I have a little story to tell you.

I was sitting on the couch in the living room yesterday evening, when my brother planted himself on the couch and said this to me , " You need to lose weight,man".

ble.BLAH.eeek!ERM...huh?what?ppffbbtt.tsktsk.aaahh!whoa.apa?heh?

yes, that was my initial reaction. Although those words were playing in my head rather than coming out of my mouth.

Reply.Reply, Shamaine, reply to that! Reply! Say something.SAY SOMETHING!!

Me: Yeah, I know....

What? What? What? Yeah I know???? Urgh.

2 minutes later......

Me: If I lose weight, would you take me to act?

Brother: Maybe. If the part fits you, and I mean that in every sense....hahahahaha

Me: (fake laughter) hahahahahahahaahahahah

Cue to exit.

People either love you or hate you when you're fat. They love you because you make them feel so much better. They hate you because you're an embarassment.